Paul's tribute to Nancy

I have 3 points to make

Point 1: I am Nancy’s brother. I am 51 she is 45, you do the math. I moved off to college when I was 18, Nancy was…. still a kid. So I missed a lot. I missed her first date, (Amy has a good story)…I missed her homecoming dances, I didn’t come home to see her in the high school musicals. (There are some pictures). Nancy went to college, I helped her move, she helped me move, she is so strong, couches, refrigerators, you name it, she could move it. She married Dave, moved out west, I didn’t visit her out there; I never met Frodo. She moved back here, her family grew, but we didn’t see each other much. It was always so great when we did see each other, … we were both just so busy with our own lives. Here is the point: even though she and I weren’t around each other much, our love for each other never changed. I have 33 years of evidence, and the rest of Nancy’s family can attest to the exact same thing: You don’t have to be around Nancy to love her or for her to love you.


Point 2: I think one of nicest things you can say about someone is they give great gifts. Nancy was the best ever at this. I, by the way, am horrific at giving gifts – just ask my wife. So how was Nancy so good? To be really good at giving gifts, you have to get to know the other person, without them being aware. You can’t just ask them, “Okay what do you want?” .You get to know that person by thinking hard about them. You have to think about what that person likes and would like, what they have and don’t. In other words, you have to stop thinking about yourself and what you have to do, and instead, is think long and hard about the person you’re giving the gift to. Nancy is all about thinking about others instead herself. (A brief digression: many of you know that as Nancy’s became more sick, she became “difficult”. There are a few different theories floating around on why. One theory, and it could be true, is that the steroids that Nancy was on, caused her to be agitated. Another theory, that could also be true, is that the tumor affected the part of the brain that allows someone to reason things out and calm themselves down. But I think that as Nancy’s disease progressed, she could no longer change the focus the attention away from her and back towards someone else. I’ll give you an example, you know how when you asked Nancy how are you, she would always respond with, how are YOUUU? Okay back to script) So here is the point: Through Nancy’s whole life she has shown me how I can continue to get know her better. Give Nancy a great gift. But I better make sure it is a great one. I need to think hard about Nancy. Think about the things she loved; her family, the music on her MyPod, her art work, Nancy’s ideas to save the world by reforming healthcare, her work with seniors, her angels This was Nancy’s gift to me, and maybe all of us, a way that we can continue to get to know her.


Point 3: Thinking about Nancy would be a lot less work, if she was here. But we all know, and D, M, R and H, will tell you, Nancy will always make you work. But I think, it is not that hard to see Nancy. Look at my Mom & Dad, or my sisters and you will recognize Nancy. Look at M’s eye’s, R’s smile or just listen H talk and you will see Nancy. Some of us don’t live in Madison, but it is easy to see Nancy anywhere. When you see someone riding a horse, think, my friend Nancy loved to ride. Or it is even easier, than that, when you see an interesting piece of jewelry, think, “Oh you know Nancy would have loved that”. Or sometime, if you’re lucky you might meet someone at a party and they won’t talk about themselves, they keep turning the conversation back on you, tell that person that is exactly what Nancy would do.